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Diagnosis F44​.​3

by UZIEL

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HAVE NO FEAR / PRELIMINARY DIAGNOSIS one empty heart one empty soul just passing time watching the leaves fall down trying to find something to hold on to someone chained you to the ground someone keeps you deaf and dumb they don't listen what you say but one day you'll make them pay voices gently drill your brain sheets are old and full of stains window jingling falls apart leaves are falling and your heart burns someone chained you to the ground someone keeps you deaf and dumb papers signed and prayers said safely tied to iron bed "O Rose, thou art sick! The invisible worm That flies in the night, In the howling storm, Has found out thy bed Of crimson joy: And his dark secret love Does thy life destroy." beneath the surface the storm rages on the patient monsters are lurking beyond my name is Legion, I won't leave you alone sooner or later you'll open the door Your heart burns with secret joy of decay Your soul is now so comfortably gray What if you’ll lose your sweet sadness one day? On what distant shore will dawn find you astray?
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BLOOD RED MIST / IT WASN'T ME you will not catch me unprepared (expect the unexpected) I'm always ready for your strike (no matter when it comes) and you provoke me all the time (as I keep trying to keep calm) but I can see through your disguise - and I'll descend upon thee now... you try to catch me unprepared (you think that you can fool me?) no matter which one of you starts (I dare you all to try) I'm not afraid of anyone (I can take all of you at once) and this will lead to your demise - as I'll descend upon thee right... now... with my vengenance great and furious anger until you shall see that I'm indeed the righteous one the red mist covers all I see (and nothing matters anymore) inside it everything is right (and I know what to do) my cause is just vengenance is mine (until there's no one to deny) and thunder strikes down from the sky - and darkness comes with pain divine now that the mist is gone I'm feeling weak but it won't last long for I still see ahead of me ...conspiracy
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THE DAMNED SPOT / MY WORK IS NEVER DONE now I am forced to repeat, I am forced to repeat it again I am forced to repeat sacred ritual of washing hands wash my hands 'til they're clean scrub my hands until they bleed 'til flesh drops from my bones the sacred purity achieved so: now count your eyes then count your teeth, and then count your hair and - when darkness comes count all the stars make sure they are still there wash my hands 'til they're clean scrub my hands until they bleed 'til flesh drops from my bones the sacred purity achieved count the angels when they’ll start to dance on the head of the pin count devils as well - you never know which side will win this war the purity of the mind the perfect transparence the cleanliness is next... but always out of reach my work is never done - the sacred purity the cleanliness is next ...to godliness my work is never done, the sacred purity is always out of reach, always out my hands, always few inches away, no matter how hard I try... my work is never done and I can not stop, for if I will ever stop, if I will ever fail, if I will ever neglect my duty… I don’t want to know, I don’t want to check, I can not imagine such blasphemy… I don’t want to... my sacred duty keeps me safe and sound, safe and sane, sane, saint
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CONSPIRACY / ARE YOU BLIND? I know you're lying, I know you're hiding your face I know you're lying, I know you'll stab my back plotting against me? I see your lies I know you'll stab me, I know you'll stab my back backstabbing bastards are plotting all the time I see through your lies, I see through each disguise I know you're hiding, I know you're hiding the knives I know you're lying, I know you lost your mind plotting against me? I see your lies I know you'll stab me, I know you'll rip my heart backstabbing bastards are plotting all the time I see through your lies, I see through each disguise I'll be patient, I will gather - carefully gather - every proof I'm right, I know I'm right, I know and... now I'll wait for your wrong move - eye for an eye - I for an I - and tooth for a tooth ...when the time will come. I know you're lying, I know these tears ain't real I know you're not real, I know that you won't feel a thing. I always suspected it's fake I'll be patient, I will gather - carefully gather - every smallest proof I'm right, I know I'm right, I know and now I'm waiting for your wrong move - one wrong move I don't need no proof. I must be someone very special you know, you took a lot of effort to confuse me (to use me), to bind me (to blind me), to destroy me (to annoy me), bu I, I am above this all - I know that nothing happens without a reason, you know? so this all has a purpose, the soul has a purpose, and you can plot against me, try to lock me up, to humiliate me, but you can not defeat me, you can not defeat me, for I am the one, the one who sees the truth, for I see the truth, I see through your lies, I can see through all lies, I can see the truth behind your lies... why can't anybody see what I see?
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THINNER ICE / BORDERLINE I can do anything nothing can stop me now everything's possible when word becomes the flesh I conquer all I see world's not enough for me my skin is getting tight now as I grow out of my life then I see things fall apart... we are dust on the wind... I'm carried by the flow of mediocrity and nothing really matters nothing makes sense at all dust fills the air again it's getting hard to breathe I'm drowning in black tar now all that I see is tattoed black who am I in between... why am I torn within... ...and I see light again there's nothing I can't take I can do anything I conquer all I see brisk morning, evening sore until subsequent fall tide of mediocrity that swing is too much for me show me -show me the way to end it all show me - show me your face before I fall show me - way to the peace of quiet grave show me - how to stop being just a slave of my sweet pain
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MOTHER'S EYES / BURNING BRIGHT I feel it - I feel it deep inside me it's growing - a growing monstrosity an angel - an angel of all your lies but I know - because I have seen it's eyes every night I hear it cry every night - what have you done to it's eyes? "In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire?" a growing tumor drags me down tearing my womb with thorny crown the ancient profecies came true mother of god in front of you I feel it - I feel it deep inside me it's growing - a growing monstrosity an angel - an angel of your lies but I know - because I have seen it's eyes a growing tumor drags me down tearing my womb with thorny crown the ancient profecies came true mother of god in front of you "What the hammer? what the chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? What dread grasp Dare its deadly terrors clasp? When the stars threw down their spears, And water'd heaven with their tears, Did He smile His work to see? Did He who made the lamb make thee?" a growing tumor drags me down tearing my womb with thorny crown the ancient profecies came true mother of god in front of you worthless and abused deprived of right to choose rejected and denied finally purified
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IT'S JUST A SHADOW / OUR PATIENT BODES WELL look! there's something coming something's coming now there's something coming... something's coming: pool of blackness covering the land enormous shadow - look! it's a... shadow? there's something coming something's coming... it's a giant shadow a massive cloud blocking out the sun a pool of black over the distant land I took just one step back - and then he advanced I moved my arm and he covered distant lands and then I realized that it's my shadow - no matter if you deny I move through your land: could destroy it with one hand I laugh at your castles your puny castles made of sand a massive cloud blocking out the sun it is my shadow and you, tiny midgets... better run look! there's something coming...... abashed I stood and felt how magnificent my greatness is, and I realized that I was called into this world for a purpose, I was made for greater things than any of you, you are too low to even see it... no wonder you can't se it... you never raised your hand to reach the sky, never, ever, you're just too low to see me, my greatness is too much for you, you shall never see me, I'm so high above you, so high above you... I'm not one of you... and that's the only certain thing... oh, others can fade away, I don't know, I don't care, but I am better, I am much better than any of you, that one thing is true, I must believe it, that's the most precious thing I got, it's the only thing I got, and I shall keep this, I shall keep it deep inside of me... until the time will come and you shall see me... one day I will stop taking pills and I will break the chains and then... I will tear this place apart, you shall see, doctor, you'll see... I am, I am real, I am, I

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released May 20, 2014

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UZIEL Wodzislaw Slaski, Poland

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